18 years in the game and I am a beginner

I have been doing photography for 18 years. I am still a beginner. Let me explain. In 2005 my son was born and I decided I would buy a point and shoot camera to take pics of him. And that’s all it was. Point shoot goodness! But over time I started trying to be more creative. Posing my brother for ideas I had. Or looking for more obscure subjects. As my curiosity of this new found love grew, I wanted to know more about the how and why.

One day I was at Best Buy, my Toys R Us, and I noticed they had a sale on a Nikon D3000. $300 and you get a free little camera bag. This was not why I was at Best Buy. But I left with my first DSLR and it was glued on full auto. Step one: how do you stop this stupid flash from popping up all the time. I reached out to the only person I knew that did photography at the time. Shout out Chris Villegas. First thing he said was “Get off auto.” I said “how?” He said “That’s what you have to figure out. Trust me. Also stop shooting in jpeg switch to raw.” That convo changed my life. Up to this point I’ve been in this game for 4 years. I was still a beginner.

In 2009 I decided I was going to go to college for photography. In that first class I knew photography would always be part of my life. I needed to upgrade my beginner camera. I had reached the limitations of it very quickly. So I started saving up. I sold my tv. I sold some Jordan’s. I even sold my Nikon and a couple lenses I had with it. I finally had enough and I upgraded to a Canon 60D with a kit lens and the plastic fantastic (yes the one with the plastic mount. Am I showing my age?). I wanted to know everything about photography. I had never studied this hard in my life. I learned every technical thing I could and why you needed to know it. What happens when you change anything. What are the rules. How do I break the rules.

In 2012 I dropped out of art school (1 year left) and I moved to California. Again. 7 years in the game. I was still a beginner. In California, 2013, I entered a film festival that had a photography section. In my category I won 2nd place. I’m told I was robbed. The first place winners dad was a donor to the festival. So you make your own conclusion. It was soon after this I quit. I hit the hate of the love/hate relationship I had with photography. I sold all my gear. I was done and I wanted nothing to do with photography. I was a different person then. I blamed everyone for everything. Nothing was my fault. My photography was going no where. I felt I wasn’t that good. With hindsight, It wasn’t terrible. It was just raw and I wasn’t humble. I had no direction. It had a big effect on me and my work. In a very negative way. Majorly!

In 2014 I missed having a camera so I bought a Sony a6000 and told myself it’s just for fun. I am not trying to do anything. That was what I did. I basically used it has a fancy point and shoot camera. I never upgraded from the kit lens. I did a couple photoshoots with it. I soon hit that wall again. I realize now this was more me then how I felt about photography. In 2017 I sold it. I was done for real. I didn’t touch a camera for five and a half years. Outside of an iPhone. I missed it the whole time.

In 2020 I found my way back into the church. I’d say it was at this point that me as a person started to change. I wasn’t the same guy any more. I wasn’t so angry. I wasn’t mad at the world and everyone in it. I was humble. And I missed creating. In 2021 the creative director at my church found out I used to shoot. He asked me to join the photography team. I refused for about a year to help in the photography department. In 2022 he needed help. He said “one time. Get me out of this jam.” Like MJ with the 4 5 I reluctantly said yes and helped out. It was one service. It was game over! I was hooked again. I had this new perspective on life. Finding Jesus will do that to you. I soon bought a camera and couple lenses and have completely jumped head first back in this game. A new man. A new perspective. Humbled.

18 years in the game. I’m still a beginner.